The Blue Fairy's Breast Cancer Blog

Here we go again!

Almost 6 years to the day of when I almost died during chemotherapy, I have found yet another new lump in my remaining breast. This is the fifth scare since I finished treatment in 2011 and I can tell you, the further you get away from a cancer diagnosis, does not make any new worry easier to deal with. The previous 4 lumps all proved to be either cysts or in the case of one, a fibroadenoma but this time things feel different, more reminiscent of my first primary diagnosis.

My GP was worried enough that, after I left him, he was straight on the phone to the breast clinic to see if he could get me an urgent appointment.  I had not expected to hear anything from the hospital until at least the end of next week as I had only seen my GP yesterday afternoon but he fixed up an appointment for me there and then and a letter arrived this morning to confirm the details. It’s still not until the 4th May, the same day on my next oncology check up but the letter says that if they get a cancellation for the coming week, they will phone me.

As always, it’s the waiting that’s the killer, even when you have the appointment date set. I am trying to find things to occupy myself but there are moments when I have a bit of a wobble, as I think about what the consequences of bad news could be. I have experienced the dark side of cancer treatment and whilst I know that I’d never turn down anything offered, it’s still a hard thing to think about when you consider what happened six years ago.

The next couple of weeks are going to be tough ones!

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